3 July 2008
Thursday, 10:15 PM
High-Level Journal Summary: Pleasure or pain? A slightly confused mix of excitement for this upcoming weekend and staying quite focused for my current 5th cycle of IV-based chemo. I have a surge of energy for what is coming, but I am trying my very best to stay quite focused on what must happen medically, first and foremost.
This strange combination is made funny by a 32-year old soundtrack playing along at the same time. It is a soundtrack which reminds me of our family's first July 4th in Washington, D.C. back in 1976. The music is all sung by Glen Campbell, who was the lead singer on the Mall that night. "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" is playing at this moment. How evocative.
Countdowns:
1.) Day 4 of 21 in Cycle 5 of Carboplatin + VP-16 chemotherapy.
2008 Seizure Activity:
1.) Last Simple Partial Seizure, or SPS, was 4 days ago.
2.) In 2008, I have had 73 SPS's in 185 days. This is an average of 1 SPS every 2.5 days.
Website Updates:
Responses were written for 4 messages on the 193rd page and 2 messages on the 194th page, both on the Messages tab.
Actual Journal: Glen Campbell's "By The Time I Get To Phoenix" is playing in the background right now. 20 of his greatest hits all lined up for listening to while I write this online journal entry. Why? Because our family's first July 4th in the Washington, D.C. area was in 1976, our nation's bicentennial. 32 years ago. Our whole family remembers that day very well. Glen Campbell was the featured singer on the Mall.
My, how times have changed. But, what a night. My Dad and I still check out the tree by the Lincoln Memorial that we helped to "water" at about 11 PM as we walked back to our lost car in that maze afterwards. 32 years of good chuckles.
Feeling good?
The above small family story shows where my mind is right now. I have no problem going back in time and reflecting. In fact, I am thankful that my brain tumor does not prevent this from happening. I'm glad that such memories are still quite intact.
Part of this is excitement about going to see drum corps friends throughout the weekend. I can already feel that energy kicking in. What to wear? Who will be there? Those kinds of questions linger. I am going back in time in memories.
At the same time, this is Day 4 of my IV-based chemotherapy. This is a big day, which I am quite aware of at this very moment -- even though Campbell is now singing "Southern Nights" in mid-70's fashion. Seriously, getting a $7,000 shot to help control my White Blood Cell counts is a big deal which I do not take lightly.
Focus in the midst of excitement
Despite the anticipation of this trip, I have had my list of priorities throughout the day, all medically related.
1.) Got more medical bills resolved.
2.) Took 2 Tylenol capsules (650 mg each) at 9:30 AM, which is 2 hours before my Neulasta shot.
3.) Got to Dr. Patel's office early for my shot. Being late is not good. They are usually packed.
4.) A nurse was assigned to give me the shot, but she is not someone I would ever request. She is silly like a clown when she does things. So, I had a quick and private talk with her before this major shot was delivered. I requested that she shed the other layer for a moment and give me this 6 mg of Neulasta in a slow, deliberate, and serious manner. Last time she did it, she just stuck it in for about 2 seconds and was laughing out loud the entire time as if there was a great joke happening. It made me so uncomfortable in that situation, and we worked together to completely change the atmosphere this time. It felt much healthier to me.
5.) I went home and had a bowl of my Mom's homemade soup.
6.) I slept 2.5 hours of deep sleep in bed. It was a great time of healing.
7.) I researched brain tumors and responded to messages on 38 Lemon.
8.) I was able to get in an excellent upper-body workout, which is unusual for Day 4 of chemo.
9.) Planned my evening for a long night of sleep, despite needing to pack for New Jersey tomorrow. I can pack in the morning. For tonight, rest and heal.
10.) I never missed any drugs throughout the day and I know what emergency drugs to take if I start feeling any pain from the Neulasta shot.
A good balance
I still feel a bit pushed by all these things coming together at the same time. However, as long as I do not allow health come second, I am okay. It is that simple.
That sounds easy to say, but that is going to be tough to pull off. I will have to not be afraid to ask for things and for help from other people throughout the weekend. Collectively, everyone can help and we can all get good results. Or, as Campbell sings at this very moment, the words to "Rhinestone Cowboy." (Funny how songs pop up like that when album tracks are playing in full.)
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